Real Headline, Fake Sub-Headline

INDIA ON LOOKOUT FOR "CONDOM MAN"
And other members of "Contraceptive League"

DRACULA'S CASTLE UP FOR SALE
Count leaving Transylvania, cites "eerie vibe"

CRIME RISING IN EAST DO TO LACK OF IMMIGRANTS?
Are you asking me, headline?

BAND-AID BANDIT SENTENCED TO 149 YEARS
Neosporin Kid still at large

S. KOREAN ROBOT DOGS SHOW CHARISMA
Actual dogs still boring

HUMAN RIGHTS GROUP BLASTS WAL-MART
With hose. Water Fight!

SHOCKING LEGOLAND COASTER DEATH
Lincoln Log people get last laugh

ARMY CHIEF: HARRY WILL GO TO IRAQ
Ron and Hermione to protest.

LOS ANGELES TOPS BAD AIR SURVEY
In other news Chicago has cold winter and Arizona is hot.

U.S. BLAMES RISE IN TERRORISM ON IRAQ
Threaten to invade again

COMMUNITY LEADERS, POLICE DECLARE MAY "PEACE MONTH"
Other eleven months of year "fair game" say police.

SEX OFFENDERS MAY GET SPECIAL LICENSE PLATES
And Cool Decoder Rings!

Caption Madness

Farmer discovers crop cirlcles from "retarded alien"


God rewards righteous with flood of chocolate.


Terrorist screening procedure questioned as Al-Qaeda attacks uninhabited mountain.


Jabba the Hutt and Chewbacca mate, birth Chewbacca the Hutt.


At long last, Horsey fulfills lifelong dream, becomes "real live boy"


Indian woman develops Spider-like abilities.


Jose and Pokey The Bull practice their spin move one last time before the big dance off.